so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
