I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
