I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I want to stick my p in your. b.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
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