That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
