the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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