if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Can I color on your dick again?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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