I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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