Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
