Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
