What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
