I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
