I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I understand Curling. That high.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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