I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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