he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
sarcasm needs its own font
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
