well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
