I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
