Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
