woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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