i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
