I accidentally burped into my bong.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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