mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
