Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
