it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
