Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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