I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
