I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
