I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
