worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize