I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
