Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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