So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
