lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
