does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
