i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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