I hate your face
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
