I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
