since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
