If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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