quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize