Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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