well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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