called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
