I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
