mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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