dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
