So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize