Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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