i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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