I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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