I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
