I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
