Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
