dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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