I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
