This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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