I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
