how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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