So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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