Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
