So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize