Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
