i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
