so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
