Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
is that a dick in a sweater?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
