when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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