Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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