fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize