Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
