Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you traded sex for a burrito?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
