Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
